Tag: military family

On Your Team: How an Army Spouse Helps People Improve their Wellbeing

Celebrate Accomplishments with a Military Care Package from My Hero Crate

Louise Valentine has been bucking tradition for years. Before completing her undergraduate degree, she started her own business — the first one. She never stops learning, as evidenced by the alphabet soup behind her name — five major credentials she’s earned over the years to stay at the top of her field. And she’s mastered the art of living without separating work and play.

Oh, she’s also an Army wife, currently stationed in Maryland with her husband and two children, after moving nine times in 11 years, enjoying a full-time career and side gig dedicated to helping people live healthful lives, physically and mentally. The latest way she’s done that is by writing and self-publishing a book on a wildly abbreviated timeline.

You might find yourself feeling exhausted thinking about accomplishing all of that in a single lifetime. But Louise isn’t. She focuses on the driving force behind everything she does, and sticks with it.

My purpose is to help others find realistic ways to live a vibrant, healthy life,” she explained.

Building a Foundation

Louise, a military wifeConsidered a wellness expert, Louise started her career as a sports and medical massage therapist for the NFL when she lived in Ohio. However, after marrying her combat aviator active duty husband, she moved to New York state to join him at his duty station.

After years of re-engineering her career at each new duty station, Louise was awarded a research fellowship with the Army, where she could utilize her health expertise. During her two-hour daily commute, she planned Team Valentine Project, an online comprehensive health resource, at www.TeamValentineProject.com.

As she drove, she’d dictate notes into her phone and transfer the information to a later blog post. The platform shares tips, tricks, and tools for leading a healthful life, with Louise’s experience as a military spouse sprinkled throughout.

Unbeknownst to Louise, the health tool she created in her spare time would go on to help her land a leadership role at a healthcare technology company, Vheda Health, where she works as the Director of Client Services. It’s a position that allows her to help Medicaid, Medicare, and employer group high-risk populations find ways to navigate chronic disease and improve their overall wellness.

And that’s a task that Louise is no stranger to, herself.

Overcoming Obstacles

In a short span of time, Louise received major medical diagnoses that would change how she approached her work: osteoporosis, and a pre-cancer diagnosis mid-pandemic last summer. And then her dad received his own cancer diagnosis.

Louise had already been writing about how to break down challenges and researching how to do it. But her dad’s health was the motivation she needed to turn her thoughts into a concise book that she wanted published as soon as possible, that her dad could hold in his hands, and see that he had been a success at instilling his values in her.

She also saw an opportunity to help people suffering during the global COVID-19 pandemic. So, she got to work in June. She was finished by October, just as her dad completed his month-long ICU stay because of coronavirus.

“When we’re motivated to help others and see the impact we have on them, it’s powerful and energizes you,” she said.

Her book, now available on Amazon, is called The Art of Breaking Through: Five Simple Steps to Take on Any Challenge & Tackle Self-Doubt. While writing, she channeled how she navigated out of her own dark moments in life to overcome obstacles and come out on the other side better than ever.

“We are all perfectly capable of overcoming obstacles,” Louise said. “The more we recognize that, the more we can do and take on.”

Although the final version of her book is quite short, Louise explained that it was intentional, so that her readers could quickly begin to take charge of their wellbeing rather than devoting too much time to grappling with overly-complicated concepts. Her goal was to empower others to change their lives, and she is confident her short book accomplishes that within its 68 pages.

Tips You Can Follow, Starting Today

Making small changes with great intentions can help you navigate out of a difficult place. Louise says these starting points can help you change the things in your life that aren’t working for you.

-Take a stress inventory. Think about the responsibilities you’re juggling and what you actually need to accomplish in the moment to begin feeling better. Choose what really matters, and start there.

-Recognize that you may need to re-engineer your goals. What you might’ve been able to accomplish under other circumstances could be different because of your current situation.

-Find what works for you by looking to those who are successful as your inspiration. Use their techniques to optimize your time and energy, but don’t restrict yourself to assuming their way is the only way to do things. Ask for help when you need it; find a support system.

-Honor the struggle. Anticipate that obstacles and challenges will appear. When you acknowledge that, you’re less stressed when they arise.

Know that changes take time and won’t happen instantaneously.

“It’s taken me years to get to this place, and it’s a good place to be. That [good place] looks different for everyone,” Louise shared. “Find what works for you, and fill your bucket.”

A Care Package from Home Can Help Motivate Your Hero

military subscription boxSometimes motivation comes from things you’d least expect.

You would expect your military hero to find motivation from their work, their squadron, and their leadership. But sometimes it’s the smaller things — the things that don’t necessarily affect careers — that are the biggest factors in getting through the day and getting things done. One of those things just might be a deployment care package.

A gift of sweet and savory treats and games or activities to pass the time helps your hero’s mind stay sharp and focused when it’s time to work, because the fun and relaxation our military care packages provide reminds them of everyone who loves them back home.

Send a monthly military care package to your hero today.

A Military Spouse’s Guide for Getting Through a Deployment

Stay Strong and Stay Connected with Our Military Care Package Subscription Box

It seems like time slows down during deployments, when you’re responsible for “holding down the fort” at home. Maybe you have children and pets. Maybe you’re working full time or juggling multiple part-time jobs to keep things running. We get it: you’re busy, emotional, and tired. There’s nothing quite like being a military spouse, and getting advice from other people without that experience feels useless.

Instead, take a cue from someone who’s been there with My Hero Crate’s tips from other military spouses about how to get through deployment with your sanity.

Use On-Base Benefits

Especially if you live on-base, you’ll find that these close-to-home resources are invaluable. Do all your shopping on base when you can and take advantage of on-base babysitting at the Child Development Center when you work and when you need a break.

Most base CDCs have an hourly child care option, so you can schedule a couple days per month to enjoy time to yourself to decompress, destress, or problem-solve without children interrupting your train of thought.

And if you’re already living on base or at least near to base, you won’t need to travel very far to drop off and pick up your kids, making it the most convenient option available to you without relying on family members or friends.

Practice Good Sleep Hygiene

Getting a good night’s sleep is key to feeling your best and being healthy. Being well rested is the foundation for good days. When you’re tired, your body handles stress and emotions differently. Just like when your kids get fussy, you know it’s time for a nap, do the same for yourself. Hit the hay at a reasonable hour and wake up every day at roughly the same time.

Try not to watch TV in bed, or leave lights on all night. Cozy up in your dark bedroom and focus on resting and falling asleep.

Healthy sleep habits help you keep your energy up throughout the day and prevent that run-down feeling.

Exercise at Home or at the Gym

Exercise releases endorphins that can help improve your mood and increase your energy. Take advantage of free gym access or fitness classes on base when you can, or look up at-home workout videos online and work up a sweat in your living room.

According to the Mayo Clinic, you should get at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic exercise or 75 minutes of vigorous exercise every week, spread out over all seven days. You don’t have to exercise because you’re trying to lose weight; it’s just good for your body, physically and mentally. And even if you don’t care about all that – it will at least help you pass the time and perhaps meet new friends who are dealing with deployment, too.

Talk

Your military spouse friends know what you’re going through, so if you’re having a tough time during deployment, make a few phone calls and plan a get-together to help take your mind off of your emotions or process them.

As a military spouse, you also have access to free non-medical counseling sessions through Military One Source. Attending counseling sessions does not mean that you’re weak. It means that you’re strong enough to acknowledge that you need help managing stress and life while your spouse is away.

Participate in Activities

Whether you frequent on-base activities for spouses dealing with deployment or you make your own, keeping busy with something fun is ideal! 

You can plan a day trip with your friends or children, take up a new hobby, learn new skills via online courses, or anything else you can think of. Not only will these help you pass the time, but you might gain valuable knowledge you can apply in your career or use to start a small side business to help you bring in some extra money each month.

Stay Connected by Sending Military Care Packages During Deployment

Your hero may be deployed, but that doesn’t mean they don’t realize how hard you have it at home. They hope that you’re doing well, thinking of them, and feeling happiness at every opportunity.

Remind them of your love by sending our monthly subscription box for deployed military members in the Air Force, Navy, Army, or Marine Corps. For just $39.99 a month, for as many months as you’d like, we’ll send your hero a military-approved care package full of sweet and salty snacks, quick meals, personal care items, and premium gifts like sunglasses, headphones, and activity kits. And shipping is always free to any APO, FPO, or DPO addresses.

Each time they receive one of our military care packages in our signature olive-drab box, they’ll be thankful for everything you do while they’re away – while you’re thankful for everything they do, too.

Subscribe to our military care package service today.

How to Talk to Your Child About Deployment

Celebrate Your Hero Together by Sending a Military Care Package

It’s hard to be a military parent, but deployment makes it even harder, not just to raise your children, but dealing with the emotions that come with being deployed. There are a few things you can do to help prepare your children for an upcoming deployment, and it’s best to start the conversation early.

Preparing for Deployment: It’s All About Talking

We know that you’re busy making deployment plans, arranging childcare, examining finances, and more. Add getting your child ready for a period of absence to the list of your responsibilities.

-Reach out to your military parent support groups. It’s likely a parent has been deployed before; they can give you an idea of what to expect.

-Talk to your children’s teachers and other important adults in their lives to alert them about the upcoming deployment.

-Start talking about deployment in front of your children, using terms they’ll understand. Explain what deployment is and why it happens.

-Answer any questions your children pose to you about deployment, making sure you stay positive in your words and actions.

-The deploying parent should plan one-on-one activities with the children during the weeks leading up to deployment.

-Make a plan on how you’ll stay in touch while you’re deployed. The parent staying home with the children can talk about mailing deployment care packages full of treats and snacks.

-Prepare your children for changes in household routines by talking about new routines in advance.

-Keep your goodbyes brief, but meaningful.

During Deployment: It’s All About Keeping in Touch

Being separated from a parent during deployment can be hard on children. Keeping in touch and being positive can make the time pass more quickly.

-Write letters, make phone calls if possible, and send an armed forces care package to your loved one in the Marine Corps, Army, Air Force, Navy, or National Guard. 

-The parent at home should maintain a schedule and routine as much as possible while following household rules just as before. Don’t change bedtimes, don’t tolerate behaviors you wouldn’t have tolerated before, and continue asking children to help with some household chores.

-Turn to your community resources, child psychologists, and school counselors if your children are struggling. Don’t wait for a big meltdown to take action.

Stay Connected Even at a Distance with Military Care Packages from My Hero Crate

Ease the emotions that come with deployment by sending a special care package to your deployed hero. My Hero Crate takes care of all the details for you because we assemble military-approved treats and other items to bring cheer to your hero, no matter where in the world they’re stationed. And shipping is always free to any APO, DPO, or FPO address.

Shop for care packages, and send one to your hero now.

How Pets Can Help Veterans

Honor Your Military Loved Ones Year-Round with R&R Gift Sets, Too

Coming home after serving in the American armed forces is difficult. Just as your hero adjusted to life in the military, they have to re-adjust to living in the civilian world; this adjustment is sometimes much harder than the transition to military life because now, they have scars – physical and otherwise – from the battles they fought. 

At My Hero Crate, we know you want what is best for your hero when they return home. That’s why we do what we do: build and ship care packages for military members stationed all over the world, and donate some of our proceeds to a veteran non-profit organization. One thing that you can do, that perhaps you haven’t thought of, to aid in your hero’s transition, is to help them choose a pet that may provide them comfort and support.

An emotional support animal provides comfort to help relieve a symptom of a person’s disability, such as anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder. An emotional support animal is technically not a pet – but it isn’t a service animal either. 

How Can an Animal Help?

Caring for and living with a pet, such as a cat or dog, can help improve your hero’s life. Benefits include:

-Increasing well-being and improving mental health

-Encouraging physical fitness (especially if the pet is a dog that requires lots of exercise!)

-Strengthen social connections and improve relationships with others

-Help overcome trauma

-Prevent loneliness

-Raise self-esteem and confidence

-Give life purpose

If you’re unsure of whether an emotional support animal is right for your hero – or if perhaps a service dog would be better – it’s a good idea to talk to your loved one’s mental health team, who can provide their professional recommendations, give you documentation you need to house an emotional support or service animal in a rental home, and refer you to organizations that specialize in matching pets to veterans.

Consider a Shelter Animal

According to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, 6.5 million dogs and cats enter animal shelters every year. An article in USA Today estimates that at least 20 percent of American soldiers return from abroad suffering with post-traumatic stress disorder. If a pet is right for each of these veterans, they can experience the feeling of saving an animal’s life and giving it a second chance.

Shelter animals are an especially good idea because it prevents 1.5 million of them annually from being euthanized. And, many shelter animals are well-suited to being obedient and loving pets. If you’re unsure of which pet to adopt, shelter workers can help you find one to best suit your lifestyle and needs. It may take patience to find the perfect pet, but it will be well worth it in the end.

Encourage Relaxation

If now isn’t the right time for a pet or support animal, help your veteran find time to relax and destress with our relaxation-inspiring gift sets, like our Men’s R&R Gift Box or our Women’s Relaxation Gift Box. Each military care package is full of items that encourage taking time for oneself.

Or, you can shop our full selection of military snack boxes with sweet and savory snacks from American suppliers, even if your soldier is still stationed overseas, nearing their discharge or retirement date. Shipping to APO, DPO, and FPO mailboxes is always free.

How to Talk About Suicide

Ways You Can Help Your Hero in Need

My Hero Crate has made it our mission to improve the lives of veterans. Our method is to build military care packages for every branch of the armed forces and to ship them anywhere in the world, wherever your hero is living. We also support nonprofit, veteran-focused organizations because we put our money where our mouth is.

We are not experts in mental health or military suicides. We aren’t trained psychiatrists with an in-depth knowledge of how the brain works. But we do care a whole lot. And that’s why this month, National Suicide Prevention Month, we wanted to share with you some of the research we found about helping military veterans access the care they need, should they ever experience suicidal ideation. If this blog post helps even one veteran and the people that care about them get through a difficult time, then writing it will have been worth it. 

A Long History of Veteran Suicide

It is more than unfortunate that United States military veteran suicide has been a phenomenon for decades; the very first suicide prevention center opened in 1958 because of the prolific number of veteran suicides. In the years since, the U.S. and Veterans Affairs have taken steps to reduce rates of suicide by establishing additional mental health resources and legislation. It is difficult, however, to fix the root cause of the problem.

According to a report published by the VA in 2016, an average of 20 veterans die from suicide each day. Further analysis of the VA study shows that the rate varies by age group. Sixty-nine percent of suicides involved veterans 50 and older, whereas 31 percent involved younger veterans. Ninety-seven percent of victims were male.

The cause? It’s not precise, but the majority of veterans who commit suicide reportedly struggled with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and combat-related guilt. Transitioning back to civilian life can also be quite difficult, especially after years in the military. 

Risk Factors for Veteran Suicide

The National Center for Veterans Studies at the University of Utah and the VA both say there are risk factors that increase the likelihood of military veterans experiencing suicidal ideation:

  • -Feelings of depression or hopelessness
  • -PTSD and/or a history of trauma
  • -Access to firearms
  • -Combat experience and combat-related guilt (although combat doesn’t always play a primary role in suicidal ideation); severe combat conditions
  • -Lengthy or frequent deployments, or longer times at war
  • -Location of deployment
  • -Branch of military
  • -Lower level of education
  • -Divorce soon after the end of deployment
  • -Sustaining life-altering injuries
  • -Brain/head trauma
  • -Witnessing traumatic events, such as their fellow soldiers being killed 
  • -Military structure and re-acclimating to civilian life

Suicide Warning Signs to Watch For

It’s difficult to predict when someone may be considering suicide, especially if they tend to hide their emotions. However, there is a set of common warning signs you can watch for as you interact with your hero at home, over the phone, or via mail.

  • -They make statements about suicide, such as “I wish I were dead,” or, more specifically, “I’m going to kill myself.” 
  • -They withdraw from social contact, including their friends and other family members.
  • -They seem preoccupied with death and dying, or violence.
  • -Their personalities may change, or they may have severe mood swings.
  • -They participate in risky behaviors, including using drugs, abusing alcohol, or driving recklessly.
  • -They express that they feel trapped or hopeless.
  • -They say goodbye to people as though they’ll never see them again.
  • -They change their normal routine, including when and how often they eat or sleep.
  • -They give away their belongings or “get their affairs in order.”
  • -They have acquired means to commit suicide, including purchasing a gun, accessing pills, etc. 

How to Start the Conversation with Your Hero

Don’t worry that if you ask your hero about suicidal thoughts or feelings, you push them into actually doing it. Giving them a chance to express their feelings can actually reduce their risk of acting on them. To do so, you can start your one-on-one conversation by asking some sensitive questions, like:

  • -How are you coping with what has happened in your life?
  • -How are you feeling about everything that has happened with you?

You should also ask some direct questions, like:

  • -Are you thinking about hurting yourself? 
  • -Are you thinking about suicide?
  • -Are you thinking about dying?

Your questions can continue to delve into more detail, like:

  • -Have you ever thought about suicide before?
  • -Have you ever tried to hurt yourself before?
  • -Have you thought about how or when you’d do it?
  • -Do you have access to weapons, or other things you could use to hurt yourself?

What Not to Say

Most suicidologists agree that committing suicide isn’t a decision. In an essay by Gerben Meynen, a professor of forensic psychiatry at Utrecht University in the Netherlands, he argues that “having a mental disorder takes away a person’s ability to choose alternatives.”

In fact, until the most recent edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), “loss of freedom” was listed as a component of mental illness. This description has now been updated to an “impairment in one or more important areas of functioning,” which is said to include “one or more losses of freedom.” 

It makes sense, then, that talking about suicide in a way that insinuates it is your hero’s choice would not be productive, and would instead shame them for their struggle. Never refer to committing suicide as selfish, stupid, cowardly or weak, a choice, or a sin, regardless of your personal beliefs.

You should also avoid “making it about you.” It is likely your hero has already thought about the repercussions of suicide and how it may affect their loved ones, but still views it as the only escape from their feelings.

What You Should Do

If your hero is considering suicide, you can help them get the resources they need. You can encourage them to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, and offer to sit with them as they make the call. To access responders with experience helping veterans, your hero should press “1” at the prompt. If they prefer to text with a responder at the Lifeline, they can send a message to 838255.

Help them locate the phone number for their doctor at the VA to get access to the VA Mental Health program and VA Suicide Prevention program. There are so many non-profit organizations dedicated to veterans’ mental health — just like the ones we donate to with the proceeds from each of our military care packages. You can learn more about them at veteranscrisisline.net. 

Be supportive. Express your love for them, and your concern. 

A Heartfelt Sign-Off from Your Favorite Military Care Package Experts

Your personal military hero is also ours. It is our sincere hope that you and your veteran will learn to stave off the thoughts of suicide while living your best possible lives together.

© 2020 MY HERO CRATE